Man's Best Friend
by Commander Fiction
Summary: The random fanfic that nobody asked for. The one where Leonard is a hard worker and is trying to help Jim, while Spock actually does all the hard work and spews out science mumbo jumbo and Jim sits back and watches. Or the one where Jim is turned into a dog on an away mission and Leonard is mad. Post Beyond. Jim&Bones like always. I don't know where this came from, sorry guys haha.


**Man's Best Friend**

 **Chapter 1: What the Hell Happened**

With each passing day aboard the Enterprise, Leonard McCoy becomes less and less surprised at the crazy shit Jim Kirk manages to pull out of his ass, and unfortunately literally (no need to go into detail on how a metal rod ended up in the captain's ass on Theta VII, let's just say the medical report was an interesting one at that). But in most cases, particularly the recent cases, in their recovery after Krall, their missions have gone haywire. Leonard assumed that their bad spell of luck is simply due from people learning to cope with the trauma of Krall's attack, but it's been eight months since then and their bad spell is still continuing at full force.

Though today, the captain seemed quite overjoyed for their upcoming mission. Five hours ago, the Captain Kirk, First Officer Spock, Mister Sulu, and Ensign Harrison beamed down onto Tetra I, a class M planet, bustling with life and technology. The people down there are humanoid and seemed open to the idea of joining the Federation, but still were timid of the idea of Starfleet officers beaming down upon their surface. Nonetheless Jim reassured them, and Leonard, that the mission would go smoothly, even after Spock mentioned them being "slightly" telepathic, but then said something about shape-shifting technology that had Jim almost hopping on his feet in excitement.

Who knew it'd come back to bite them? Literally, almost.

It started with Spock comming him directly, stating with a matter-of-fact tone that the captain has found himself in a "fascinating situation" and will require medical assistance once beamed up by Scotty.

Leonard could only assume the worse. Maybe Jim got another rod stuck up his ass, though upon walking into the transporter room, he could wish that was the case.

Instead he's met by Spock, Sulu, and Ensign Harrison, and unexpectedly with a loud bark followed by whining noises and a tail.

"What the hell Spock, where's the captain?" Leonard growls, because damn it, he doesn't have time for any jokes, even though he knows Spock would never joke about anything considering his -.

Spock just raises an eyebrow and gestures towards the animal now before them, "This is the captain, doctor."

Sulu and the ensign nod their agreement.

Leonard frowns, eyeing Spock before dropping his gaze to the person in question, who is now no longer a person but a golden Labrador with a wagging tail and drool dripping from its snout. Jim had always mentioned getting a dog when he retired, but Leonard never expected he'd become one.

"Again...what the hell Spock!"

Spock nearly flinches and the dog makes a whine, tucking its tail between its hind legs.

"Aye, the poor lad. Doctor you can fix the captain ya?" Scotty pipes from behind, and Leonard glances over his shoulder, meeting the engineer's worried look before staring back over at the dog now trotting up to him, "I'll try."

The dog sits down before him, tilting his head up expectantly at him, eyes wide, tongue hanging from his mouth.

It looks just like Jim, with those unnaturally blue eyes.

"Jim, you in there?" Leonard asks almost cautiously, kneeling down in front of the Labrador.

The dog barks and licks Leonard's face, now standing and wagging his tail excitedly.

"Eww, shit Jim, disgusting." Leonard grumbles, wiping the saliva now coating his face. The dog, or Jim, barks again, nudging his head into Leonard's shoulder.

"Well, at least you understand me."

Jim seems to nod his head.

"I'm going to try to fix you okay?"

Jim barks his approval, swinging his shaggy tail.

"Aye captain, if ya don't mind me saying, you make for a cute dog lad."

Jim growls, baring his teeth at Scotty.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Scotty laughs, raising his hands in surrender, "won't say that again, sir."

Jim wags his tail at that, sitting down beside Leonard who still kneels before him.

"It is imperative that we still be cautious around the captain, he may understand us, but he may also carry animal like characteristics that could possibly take over his personality."

Jim releases bark that sounds more like a growl at Spock, obviously annoyed at the fact of being a dog.

"My apologies captain." Spock dips his head towards the dog.

"What now?" Sulu prompts and Leonard gets to his feet, "Well, if the people down there did this to him, they can change him back?" Leonard suggests hopefully, but knowing Jim Kirk, it'd never be that simple.

Sulu cringes.

"Unfortunately, the events that transpired on Tetra I prevents us from doing so." Spock fills in politely.

"Shit, what did the moron do this time?"

Jim whimpers, tucking his tail back between his legs, head bowed as he stares up at Leonard, and out of instinct Leonard strokes Jim's head, but quickly retracts after realizing what he has done.

"It was not the captain's fault." Spock states firmly and Leonard snorts, "The Thy'Crutians have odd customs, some of which concern sacrificing those who have blue irises."

Leonard shakes his head, "Always told him that those damn blue eyes would get him into trouble."

The vulcan nods knowingly, "Part of their sacred ritual included changing their sacrifice into their inner animal, apparently the captain deep down is a earthly household pet."

Jim does another bark at Spock, glaring him down.

"I mean no disrespect captain, I just assumed you would take after more of a predator species, perhaps a gray wolf?"

Jim snarls but quickly changes by licking his nose with a slobbering pink tongue.

Leonard shakes his head again, alright, I'll take him to Sickbay, and I want the rest of you examined by Nurse Chapel, just to make sure you won't change into an animal as well.

They all nod and head off, leaving Leonard with a hairy Jim.

"How am I supposed to get you out of this one Jim?" He asks more to himself, forgetting that Jim, even though he is a dog, can understand him, causing the Labrador to duck his head down shamefully once more.

Leonard sighs, "It's alright Jim, I'll figure out how to change you back."

Jim nervously wags his tail at that, tilting his head up at Leonard.

"Okay, let's go then." Leonard says awkwardly, almost saying "come boy" which would've ended badly for both of them.

As Leonard heads for the door, Jim trots alongside of him, claws clicking against the floor, tongue dangling between his canines. His fur is fluffy and gold like Jim's natural hair color, and his eyes are pure blue.

They walk to the medical wing in silence, there are a few stares from crewmen, but none of them know it's the captain, not yet. Spock will make that announcement eventually. Jim's fur even brushes up against his thigh a few times, and by the way his tail almost drags against the ground, Leonard can tell he's no longer enthusiastic about shape-shifting technology, and actually might be a tad bit scared.

When they reach the entryway of Sickbay, Jim pauses, hunching and becoming much smaller.

"Let's go Jim, you got yourself into this shit and now I'm gonna get you out of it." Leonard mutters and Jim lets out a scared whine.

Leonard sighs, Jim might be in there, but like Spock said, he now carries some animal characteristics. So now Jim is going to need even more coaxing to get him into Sickbay.

Like getting him here on a normal day isn't hard enough as it is.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Leonard blows out a sigh and crouches before Jim. The captain barks quietly, muffled mostly by his snout clamping shut at the realization of not being able to speak.

"Jim, I know you're scared, and I'm a little scared too. But it's okay-yes I know you're a dog-don't give me that look-but don't worry, I'm going to fix it, okay?" Leonard reassures, reaching out to pet back the golden fur standing on end, but Jim pulls away, shaking his head and scurrying around Leonard, but stopping a couple feet away to bark at him.

Leonard looks at him uncertainly, getting up to follow, and Jim's tail wags slightly, actually rising enough not to touch the floor. He manages a smirk, allowing Jim to pad along to the examination room, beating him there. When Leonard steps in, Jim's looking up at the examination table, doing circles.

"Did you try jumping yet?" Leonard grouses, picking up the PADD on the side table.

Jim barks, and ultimately sits down on the floor, tongue flashing out to wet his black nose.

"Let me pull up a stool then-or somethin."

Leonard drags a chair over, patting the surface, "Up you go Jim."

Jim gets up, walking around to jump onto the chair, hind paw nearly slipping, before making the easy hop to the table. The captain then collapses on top, causally lying back; tongue out as he pants from the effort.

"Okay, give me a moment to scan you over." Leonard says absently, snatching the tricorder and running it over the dog before him.

Jim just makes a little noise, resting his head onto his front paws, blue eyes tracking Leonard's movements. Leonard glances through the analysis. Basically, Jim's molecules were broken down and reconstructed to match the genetics of a dog's, more specifically, a Labrador, but still containing Jim's conscious mind. Though bringing the tricorder to Jim's head, his brain appears to be functioning like a human's. So his brain is the same, but not the rest for him. At least he has that going for him.

Sighing, Leonard sets the tricorder down after transferring the results to his PADD, "So, Jim… you're completely healthy… for a dog."

Jim's head pops up, cocking to the side.

"Look, I'm going to talk to Spock to discuss a remedy for this, why don't you go back to your quarters and get some rest okay?"

Jim barks, pawing his shoulder.

"Right, I'll walk you to your quarters."

Moving the chair away, Jim hops straight to the ground, paws nearly slipping on the slick ground. But nonetheless wags his tail and follows along Leonard's side.

"Doctor McCoy... Captain Kirk." Nurse Chapel comes over, eyeing the dog at his side, "That is the captain?"

Jim barks, making a little growl, but sits down respectfully.

"I'm sorry captain, I'm sure the doctor will be able to fix you?" She eyes Leonard.

Leonard huffs, "I'm going to talk to Spock and figure out something. In the meantime, I'm taking him back to his quarters-could you possibly arrange to get him some food-of course something he can actually eat?"

Chapel nods, "Yes, of course doctor. And just letting you know, the rest of the away team are in perfect health."

"Okay, thanks Chapel."

Leonard then continues forward, glancing down and finding Jim trotting beside him like a trained dog. His tail doesn't wag as they pass by fellow crew members, only slightly when they reach his quarters.

He waves his hand over the sensor, allowing Jim to scamper inside.

"Okay, umm, Chapel should be over soon with some food and water. I'm going to talk with Spock so I'll be back before Gamma shift starts."

Jim hops onto the bed, doing a couple circles before curling up in the sheets.

Leonard just smiles and closes the door before heading out.

Trudging along, Leonard makes his way to the Bridge. With the turbolift's door opening, Leonard is greeted with the sight of Spock sitting in the captain's chair. Of course he's seen this countless times, when Jim has gotten himself into trouble and gets put on medical leave, or even the times when Jim is missing or held hostage, but still, seeing Spock in the captain's chair makes his insides twist. It's almost an unnatural sight.

"Mister Spock, a word please?"

Spock glances around, his shoulder, "Of course doctor."

The vulcan rises stiffly from the chair, though he couldn't have sat in it for more than five minutes.

"I assume you wish to discuss the captain's...situation?"

Leonard nods.

"Very well."

Spock leads him to the ready room, where Jim usually holds his meetings. Jim won't be hosting one of those in a long time if Leonard doesn't find a way to fix this.

Once settled into the overly comfortable conference chairs, Spock leans forward, hands clasped together resting on the table. Leonard on the other hand leans back, his right foot propped against his knee, his left hand finding his chin in his slouched position. They stare at each other for a moment, both of them grasping the reality of the ordeal.

Their best friend is now a slobbering dog. And that drooling dog just so happens to be their boisterous blond captain as well. Unfortunately.

"So, why don't you start by telling me what happened down there." Leonard suggests and Spock nods agreement.

"Upon arriving at Tetra I's surface, both the captain and I found the environment slightly hostile, but when suggested to return to the ship, the captain refused and decided to press the negotiations. We where then led to their leader, Nok'Mar, who appeared to show disdain towards the captain-which after we were separated from him, we learned of their sacred ritual of sacrificing those with blue eyes. By the time Lieutenant Sulu, Ensign Harrison and I were able to break free and reach the captain, he had already been changed into his dog form. We only knew it was the captain because of the remnants of his uniform was in the cage. So we proceeded to break him free and contact the Enterprise."

Leonard whistles, "Quite a story Spock. But what if that isn't the captain? You didn't see him be changed into a dog?"

"No I did not doctor, but considering facts, that dog is most likely the captain." Spock replies coolly.

Leonard sits straight now, "How can we be sure? What if you guys just picked up a stray dog!"

"Doctor, the dog is obviously intellectually engaged in our conversations and can understand us. He also responds to us accordingly and seems obedient to his name and rank, which all suggests the captain has been changed into this animal. Also which I remind you, we were previously informed before arriving that the Thy'Crutians are capable of shape-shifting technology." Spock argues sternly and Leonard sinks back into the chair, clearly defeated on the matter.

"Alright, fine, fine whatever. I'll take a damn blood sample-to see if it matches up."

Spock raises an eyebrow at him.

"Double checking Spock, you can never be too careful." Leonard points out, "Anyways, I'm not just here to discuss how it happened, I need to figure out ways to change him back."

"It is important that you do doctor." Spock confirms and Leonard sighs, "I need your help. I scanned him over in Sickbay and he's completely healthy, no signs of a virus, disease, microbots, just nothing. It's as if he's always been a dog. Which means there's nothing for me to reprogram or find a cure for."

"Which means we have to reconfigure the captain's genetics." Spock says and Leonard nods, "Exactly, which is easier said than done."

Spock suddenly rises, "Doctor I believe I have a solution, but it may require some time."

"Well it's gotta be better than the alternative. Spit it out Spock."

"Mister Scott and I may be able to change the transporter's function to rearrange the captain's molecules, to turn him back into his original form." Spock replies.

"Well gee Spock, that sounds like a feat not even you can accomplish."

Spock only stares into his eyes, complete determination gleaming in them, "I must try, doctor."

They part ways afterwards, Spock once more taking over the Bridge to make "the announcement" about the captain, and Leonard heading back to Sickbay to finish his shift. As soon as Spock finishes the ship wide announcement, murmurs are heard throughout the whole ship. Jim has gotten himself into many situations, some of them quite weird and embarrassing, but turning into a dog? That's a new one, even for the rambunctious blond.

Leonard's last shift ends early when Chapel tells him to go check on Jim and that she's "got it all handled". Luckily for the both of them, there's only a few patients, most of which dealing with injuries from a week ago when Sulu led the away team into a human eating sandpit, it gave the crew members nasty sand burns on their arms and legs. Jim refused to send anyone else down there after that, considering that half the planet is sand and that monster was undetectable under their scanners.

So, with that, Leonard is off and away, heading for the captain's quarters after snatching a medkit, because he damn it, he's getting the blood sample.

Opening the door, the lights are dimmed halfway and the only movement is the rise and fall of the dog's stomach, sleeping curled up in the middle of the bed. The food and water Chapel set out on the end of the bed is left untouched.

Upon closing the door, Jim's head perks up and yawn escapes his mouth.

"Hey Jim." Leonard greets, coming to sit on the side of the bed and Jim returns the welcome by licking his face, "Damn it Jim! Gross." He complains, wiping his face down with a sleeve and he swears Jim snickered even in his dog form.

Jim groans, making himself comfortable beside him, tail coming to wrap around his front paws, golden fur gleaming in the low lighting.

Leonard goes to pet him again, but hesitates, "Is it okay…? If ya'know, I…I pet you?"

Jim flops down on his belly, blue eyes peering up at Leonard, tail wagging and thumping against the bed.

"Is that a yes?"

The Labrador nudges his head into Leonard's lap, rolling onto his side and smacking his knee with a giant paw. Leonard smiles, "Alright then." He chuckles softly, bringing his hand into Jim's smooth fur, running up and down his side and rubbing his floppy ears. Jim stretches against him, eyes fluttering shut, completely relaxed and pliant beneath Leonard's hands.

He sighs, staring down at his best friend.

Just how long is Jim going to be stuck like this?


End file.
